Division of Time

It started when I had my first newborn in the house. All of a sudden, my time was not my own anymore and it was a fuzzy line between the time that he owned and the time that was 'mine'. Well, not so fuzzy now that I think about it. All of the time simply became his. As he got older though, I somehow managed to etch out a spare hour here or completely steal an hour there, thanks to video entertainment. Mostly though, that time was spent cleaning something.

Then I had another child and I realized that it was my perspective that was wrong. It wasn't that I didn't have ANY time for me, it was simply that that time was being used up with a shower and (possibly) sleep. Out the window was recreational reading, hobbies, concerts, and movies and what a revelation to realize how many hours can be consumed by such activities. Equally time consuming and undoubtedly more rewarding than any of those activities though, were the endless hours of nursing, comforting, burping, tickling, bathing and staring in rapture at my offspring.

Fast forward to my life today with three kids. Diapers and nursing are a thing of the past, but somehow the time constraints are just as tight as they are replaced with Brownies, gymnastics, homework, and classroom volunteering. As for those PK (Pre-kid) activities that I enjoyed so much? Well, I just finished reading a six book series by Diana Gabaldon, even though it took me three months. I've written the rough draft of a novel and still manage to be there for every important activity the children participate in.

With the flux of activity in this house, it is not that I have more time than I did a year or two ago, it is how I divide that time. Early on I felt the need to strive towards supermom status. (See related blog entry). Once I realized, however, that the kitchen was not going to stay clean even if I swept three times a day, I allowed myself a little of that time to research, read, or write. With each segment of perfection that I released, I gained a segment of time for myself.

So now that alien weeds have all but consumed my backyard and I wouldn't dare anyone to lick my dining room floor, I find that I have chisled out enough time for my writing (most weeks). Even at that, I am forced to divide what time I have...novel, blog, research, query letter...

I am inspired by fellow authors (eww, not sure I can claim that title quite yet) who manage to raise kids, maintain friendships, and continue regular blogs and writing assignments. In that thread, I am going to try to recommit myself to my blog and I hope you find the time to come along on the ride.

Just One Good Book...Please?

The seemingly simple task of picking out a library book is anything but with three kids in tow. Gone are the days of lingering in the new book section, reading the cover and giving heavy consideration to each book summary. My current technique is more of a quantity over quality method in which I quickly grab several books that grab my attention at any level while holding one child and keeping the other two from dragging books off the shelves. The problem with this technique is that when I get home and find an opportunity to peruse my hasty grabs, I usually end up with an eclectic blend of choices along the lines of “Benjamin Franklin, the School Years”, “The History of Egypt” and “One Woman’s Journey; a Transsexual’s Story”.

Sorry if I'm Neglecting You

I've been working on my other two sites and adding articles to my ehow account. Check out my "how-to" articles at www.ehow.com. Above the search box, click on the 'members' then type in ehowwriter (that's me). Click on ehowwriter when it comes up and it will list all of my articles. Let me know what you think and send me ideas. It could mean money in my pocket. Thanks for your support!

Lacking in Hours

I remember being on maternity leave with my first child, eagerly making lists, and more lists....and more lists; the long term projects I wanted to complete such as organizing pictures into albums and cleaning out the shoe closet; the short term goals of vacuuming, making dinner, and cleaning the bathroom. I oozed optimism at all of the things I would get done before I went back to work.

In short order, however, I realized that I was incredibly overly optimistic in my goal setting. I started getting frustrated that on Wednesday, I was still crossing things off Monday's list. I eventually learned to only list the really important errands and possibly an extra goal or two.

With even more experience, the list dwindled to include:
1. feed, change, and bathe baby
2. try to eat and shower

Finally, I found success...well, most days.

"Necessity" Defined

In this world of "Keeping up with the Jones", we often get caught up in the vicious cycle of working more, to buy more things. At the same time, we feel that we deserve nice things because we work hard. My question is a simple one; What are the necessities in your house?

With our recent 40% decrease in household income, this question comes up daily. However, our answer is likely very different from yours.


Is it cable tv? Internet? (obviously this one is for me if I ever hope to make money at it), chocolate?, gym membership? kids activities? eating out at least once a week? newspaper subscription?


A friend was having financial struggles a while back and asked my advice about how to make cut backs. We discussed cancelling the cell phone and gym membership. For her, those were not options. She used the phone for work and the gym was "necessary" because she had a job which kept her in the social eye, plus it was an outlet for frustration and stress.


Over the last month, we have concluded that we can do without 80% of what I might have called a necessity a few months ago. The basic list for us has dwindled down to food, gas, our family vacation next August, err, wine (that's bad right?), and love...it's a good thing some things in life are still free.